Good Things! Good Things!

Noynoy has stepped up and is taking on the Philippine challenge to run for presidency.

Mariah has revived "I Want To Know What Love Is".

I get to appreciate stuff again lately.

Good things, great things.

Solitary Rule

The need to be alone is very fast approaching. As a matter of fact, it's been long overdue. Alone to rejuvenate, to rethink, revisit what need to be done and what I want to happen.

It's a miracle I still talk to people, at the very least respond. Today, I'm almost like a tree. Good luck tomorrow. Last day before the big leave.

What will my future be...I wonder.

kabug-kab-ug...tiiiiiiiiiii-------------

Everytime reality checks in, it more often than not comes as a slap, or an unforeseen prick in the veins, or a sudden lift in the air after which in a snap is abruptly followed by Falling. This kind of timing always puts me in awe mode, and simply leaves me dumbfounded.

This week was an absolute emotional roller coaster ride. Emotionally, i was not prepared, and therefore was quite challenged in the turn out of events. Friday, having come home from work without Lod, was just a nonchalant evening. Simply watched television with my sister, Tess (who again slept in my bed). She was half awake so I got to talk to her about the gown that she was going to wear to our cousin's (Ate Sienna) wedding the following day. Fortunately she'd had it fixed. Before getting the sleep I badly wanted to have, I watched an Aussie thriller, "Wolf Creek" which ended at about 4am. Struggled to fall asleep, bothered by the film. Woke up 45 minutes later to prepare for a long drive to Bulacan.

So off we went to the province, with two make up artist-employees of Leo (Tess' stylist) to do some of Al's (the groom) family members. Got to the meeting place in Plaridel at almost 8am, since had to stop by for some latte. To cut the story short, I turned out to be the friggin' musical director which i totally didn't mind doing for Ate Sienna. Just found it funny and ironic that i had the audacity to hardly sleep, not anticipating some job to do at the wedding. It turned out pretty great, though, I should say. It gave me and my sister an idea to contemplate on possibly becoming events organizers! Managed to play the entourage entrance great, good timing on the ballerina entrance (Now that I have you), and the band followed soon as the door opened for the grand entrance of the bride. Unfortunately, the band girl singer sucked big time singing Make Me Whole. I thought I'd rather have had allowed the backup CD to keep on playing. Darn! Reception music went fine too. I just have to mention that the venue (Northwoods Golf Resort) was the place of the last scene of John Lloyd and Sarah Geronimo's You Changed My Life..but I think that's not my point. I was trying to drive that amidst all that had happened at the wedding, I got bothered with what and how I felt, and of course this is the best I could write how it went. It's the hardest part to express, but to whoever knows me to the bones, I'm sure you get what it is. Or not. Everybody was happy. They all say it's what they've always prayed for, and albeit a not that perfect occasion (technically speaking), you know it's a happy event. And something happened, really. You'll know it if you're in a similar place and time. I just wish all the best for them. Left for home at 9-ish, got another latte at NLEX to keep awake, and got home before midnight.

Had to get up early to join and support Daddy at mass (thanks to my persistent sister) as he's running as a member of the village's board of directors. Voting started at 9am. But after breakfast, i just fell into slumber (can you blame me), and woke up at 5pm. Results came out at nearly 8pm, and Daddy was the only one who made it from his party. Everyone was giving him condolences, practically saying that he's getting crucified. For some reason, and thank God that's how I felt - I wanted to be, and was supportive. I just want him to survive and win this. Otherwise, we have thought of moving out to a much divided community, which is the last thing we'd want to be part of.

I think I'm not in the mood. I wrote a pretty good crap.

Random Catch-Ups

I've been quite irresponsible and lazy to update "you" with

so many things i've been wanting to share for the past

several days, and so despite the lack of time that I allow

myself to deal, I'll have to mention these random things that

I thought of and took time out of my life:

ANC became an instant favorite news channel. it was

either late last week or early this week that i saw a

documentary featuring one, and perhaps the only "living"

forensic pathologist in the philippines. yep, the police and

some know-it-all group can easily say that somebody died

because of several gun shots, but forensic pathology can

identify which of the several gun shots caused the fatality.

it's just pathetic that at this lonely time and place of a

country when and where people can die of anything

without necessary justice all the time, that we do not have a

system for this. there's more secret deaths than fully

understanding JUSTICE in its full sense. it's just plain

pathetic.

i met a very interesting person at work, matter-of-factly

speaking a company vendor with whom i had a meeting

last tuesday. it's remarkable that our 2nd meeting was

quite interesting in that i felt comfortable at an instant...for

some reason. though i knew that that level of casual

conversation may not be the best condition we should be

in, i made sure that we maintain the professionalism

needed to deliver for the job to be done. I don't know, it

just happened, and it's such a wonder how things like that

happen. she practically shared with me the most delicate

parts of her life which by the way are reasonably recent,

and it caused me to share a bit of myself. well, maybe not

a bit, but if you've been in such kind of chemistry with

practically a stranger, you'll know what i mean. but there,

one of my goals for the year accomplished: have a nice/

interesting conversation with a stranger.

a boy from ateneo who's in grade 4 passed away

yesterday. i just heard about it last night. he was crossing

the streets of ateneo (within the compounds of the school)

with his yaya, when they got hit by a car, owned by a mom

who was to pick up her son. it's just sad, unfortunate

events. then tonight i learned about an employee from

DOC (Pasay) who got mugged and shot to death. he had 2

kids as i heard. tragic stories hit our lives everyday, and

what do we got but the choice to move on until ours is over.

with what happened to the employee i mentioned, it led us

to share our own experiences, until we got to the point of

talking about funny stuff on our own encounters with

mugging. i got pinned down by God knows how many

they were when i was still a full-time commuter along

Pasay-EDSA MRT, some other peers like Mags had it in a

cab, some had their cellphones and bags snatched, and

some had similar experiences when they were just kids. i

recalled an instance when i was a first year high school

student. i wore a new scarlet cap, taken from a

balikbayan box sent by relatives from canada. can't

really remember what was printed on it, but i thought it was

really cool. while i was not really fond of wearing caps,

my schoolmates were obsessed with it, not to mention that it

was a time when peers drooled over nice stuff and asked if

they could arbor it. so i decided that same morning when i

first saw the cap, to wear it to school. i just got off the jeep,

i put on the cap and walked chin up hoping to impress

people once i get inside the campus. but no more than 2

seconds passed when somebody in a bicycle snapped it

and took it away with him. i can vividly recall and can

practically see myself standing there by the sidewalk,

stunned and motionless, not having any bit of a clue what

the heck just happened. of course a natural course of

human nature is to come back to yourself (regardless how

much time it took) and start accepting facts, like, your

brand new cap which still "smelled" imported...was gone

forever. how naive i was then. i wonder how i could have

reacted if it were to happen to me now. you should've seen

me laugh like crazy.

it was ash wednesday yesterday, Feb 25, and i'm driven to

start reconciling myself with what i really want and

transcend just a little bit more. i hope i can survive a

meatless 40 days, though i can't really commit yet to a

smoke-less and coffee-less lifestyle. but hey, if there's

trying, there's hope. "hope is a beautiful thing, and

beautiful things never die."

so there, so far so good, out of my 100 list of things to do this

year while i'm alive, and i'm still lacking about 20 more i

haven't decided on, i've managed to accomplish 3 nice

things: a wi-fi router, a nice conversation with a stranger,

and a laugh so hard it made me cry...to spite myself.

Sleep and Unsleep

It's now apparent to myself why I can't sleep. But I can't specifically point which one causes it more. BOTH could always be the case. It's work, which is pathetic, and whether I have what I think I have is the other one, the most pathetic in years things could get.

Think Of The Moon

I saw a big moon tonight while driving home...it's a little mocha-ish. And then saw another one before i parked.

Libis - Las Pinas Commute at 2am!

Woohooo! I commuted today.

After a year of isolation in a car (which i've always wanted to have) wherever i went, i took 3 jeepneys, from eastwood to rosario pasig, from rosario to ortigas, and from baclaran to casimiro; an ordinary bus from edsa ortigas to baclaran; 2 dark overpass bridges, crossing eastwood and rosario market; strolls along ortigas avenue which i used to do back in meralco, but not at 2am, then from galleria crossed edsa, then walked farther down towards the mrt station; and a conversation with a stranger no more, Maricar, a Sitel employee and a prospect Dell employee to whom I gave a business card. And the reason i decided to talk to her was i was friggin' scared coz it was too dark and hell i just came down from that uber dark overpass at rosario. great she's closest to me that time, and so we rode together. she even pointed me to the right direction (though i already know the way when we got to strata). nice person.

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. What Life's worth.

Want to talk more about it but it's already 4am, and more work later. Haaay...

homecoming

time after time after time

and so after 2 years of silence on the blog, i can easily go back to pick up from where i left.

no, it's not in any way easy.
yes, it would be quite accurate to assume that the ultimate reason that there was zero time to do such a thing was due to ONE of the few things that I've sought after for a lifetime...a nice love relationship.
yes, it's with another man.

after having realized that waiting for this relationship to stabilize before i strive to find time to come back to this passion is crazy, i stop the waiting. though there's a lot of truth to the idea of starting at a resolution-making time (it's the 2nd day of the new year), i've had this itch of writing down thoughts again in a while, and i'll just keep on getting berserck if i hadn't started. I admit i'm a day late, but it's still better than a little later than this. To add, it's a perfect time to do this again, with Lod's awesome and greatest gift to date: an Inspiron 1318, through which i'm working on this. It's his Christmas present for me, which didn't come as a surprise, and lod's so bad with surprises, but i totally don't mind!

We've taken on a practice to have the privilege of coming up with a wish list whenever there's an occasion like the holidays, put them (at least 3) on a piece of paper, roll 'em up, and the giver will pick just one. The one picked up will be what the gift giver will have to get for the other person. It started on my birthday last year (2007), when he had no idea what to get me, and so he asked me to come up with 3 wishes, write them down in separate sheets of paper, put them on a fish bowl, and then he'll pick one. Of course i have a top 3, then there's the one favorite thing that you'd wish he'd pick. I was such a lucky lover. The top 1 wish i had in mind was not to attend one of his friends' wedding, and that's what he picked.
So we thought it's a good idea, and did it again for the christmas season. My 3 wishes were, in particular order: a new laptop, a D-SLR camera, and a new ipod. He picked what i truly deserve.
it's not the same in his case. he listed down his own top 3 wishes, and i picked a round trip airfare to Hongkong, which is the next destination we'd decided to go to this year. We toured Thailand in May 2008, and going to one country a year made a difference in my life since i went out of the Philippines, at last. the reason i had to deviate from the hongkong gift was that tashe (lod's sister) had said that she's graduating from her MBA this year, and the family's going to Australia for this. confused, i decided to fish for his other wishes, and i found out that we shared 1 exactly the same wish: a D-SLR camera. and so i surprised him with his own brand new Canon EOS 450D, the latest most affordable camera i could get him. win-win situation. =)
for the rest of the year, i intend to enjoy the gifts to the fullest, and not spend on anything i don't REALLY need to spend on. we'll see.

for this year, i sensed a different kind of need to document my life in any way i can. for several reasons, which i'd like to touch on in my succeeding blogs, many changes have happened and i'd like to share it with myself so i could have many things to laugh at about myself, and remember things that my memory will refrain to keep; and/ or perhaps with the people that matter most to me, or not so.

indeed, kevin's life from here on, must be quite different from what has been.

September 11 - Sunday

time after time after time

3am Driving through the foggy Coastal Road felt surreal. It's a nice venue to have your whole life flash through, though not in a dying theme. Stayed at Adriatico with Suzette and told her more secrets about my lost-ness and so much more of being in-between "things".

September 10 - Saturday

time after time after time

...just hold on and keep trying..you'll be surprised to finally succeed. you're on the right track.
I'd like to go to Baguio to meet a 6'2-64kg-30-yr-old-government-employee guy, then again...i've to survive without it.